i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
