Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
