Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
