make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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