My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
