All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
