Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
