would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
two words...techno handjob
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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