So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
