i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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