I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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