She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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