He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
