Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize