I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
