Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
