so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
