I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
