I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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