If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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