the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
