i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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