I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
