What a fucking waste of an outfit
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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