we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
