pop tarts are not kleenex
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
