The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Randomize
