If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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