no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
