they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
