im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
