Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
