So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
