he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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