dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
