I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
