Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize