i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
