i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
