Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
