Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize