What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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