the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
