thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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