I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
