This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize