I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
