So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
