dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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