and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
