Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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