after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
