We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
