you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
