I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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