You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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