Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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