i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
3pm strippers are depressing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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