I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
