I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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