I'm eating all of the evidence.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
