would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
