You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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