Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
