Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
