About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
